What I can understand of these hip hop songs leads me to believe that the most important things in these guy's lives are as follows:
1. Drinking overpriced alcoholic beverages makes women like you.
Truth: Women like to be associated with people who get other women to associate with them. The alcohol you just bought is completely wasted. You could have waited until the club called last call and brought out 200 burritos from Aca Taco and been just as popular.
2. Jets are pussy magnets.
Truth: Girls love the fact that you have a jet because they assume you have tons of money. However, after they are on the plane, these rapper guys realize they are now stuck with a bunch of gold digging whores who, upon arriving to the destination and getting sobered up, are now just getting annoying and need to find their own way back to the LA valley.
3. Telling the masses that you're a "Boss" over and over again makes them think you're actually a "Boss".
Truth: You only retain 7% of the market compensation of the albums you sell. Your only employees are some dudes you went to high school with that work for you in hopes of getting their dicks sucked by that chick who claims she "Beat Herpes", and your accountant makes more money a year than you do.
4. "You're the realest"
Truth: No one has any idea what that means. We just assume you have committed real-world crimes and struggled through robbing people as innocent and unassuming as the suburban Americans who purchased your albums.
5. You have to let us know, "I'm back!!"
Truth: No one knew you were gone. The economy is in the shitter. We've got bills and shit. Just sing something that won't stain my child's innocence while listening to the radio in the car on the way to school.
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