15 Way To Tell You're Broke

1. Your two week expired carton of eggs in the fridge is now a small chicken wandering around the salad dressing isle.

2. You only approach women in clubs who have shown their ability to cover cab fair.

3. The shoes that once doubled as your "Yard work" shoes are now "Good enough" to club in.

4. Your dog is eating more expensive dinners than you are.

5. "Cable television" now refers to you sitting on your porch listening to your neighbor beat his wife.

6. The lies you used to tell women to go home with you are starting to turn YOU on.

7. Your room at your parent's house is WAY bigger than your room now.

8. You cry when you pee. Not because it hurts. But because you know you can't flush without going to the sink with a bucket.

9. You just made a grilled cheese sandwich with a toaster laying on its side. The fire is now contained.

10. Sad love songs are now just bitchy, winey, crap from people who are lucky enough to have trash service.

11. You've lost enough weight to get a "Jared" sized contract and you haven't had a gym membership since May of '08.

12. Paper towels, toilet paper, and Kleenex are universally exchangeable in applicability.

13. There's a room in your house that now doubles as "The crying room". This room generally has a sofa which has cushions that are so compressed from being slept on that you're pretty much sleeping on plywood.

14. You've refilled that one empty bottle of water 24 times to make people think you can afford bottled water.

15. You're other car is a burro.

Boom.