Steve Jobs is an Asshole

So I woke up this morning thinking I was going to go to the gym and actually do one of the things on my "things to do this morning" list but I think I'll just tell you about the dream I had last night instead.

I usually fall asleep with some type of music on in my room, for ambiance or whatever, but last night I accidentally had Thriving Ivory's 'Angels on the Moon' playing on repeat and didn't realize it until I was almost asleep. The version that was on is like 6 and a half minutes long and I could legitimately fall asleep 3 or 4 times in that given period. So I lay there listening to this song for about seven minutes, just long enough to realize I put it on repeat when all of a sudden there is this massive earthquake and the whole house starts shaking. The pictures hanging on my walls start to drop and shatter on the floor while I lay there in amazement of what is going on. I look to the left and the water from my bathroom is flooding out of the doorway and the mirror has already been spiderweb cracked from the shaking of the house. Just then, the giant oak tree in my back yard comes crashing through my bedroom ceiling and crushes my computer desk, television, end table and random piggy bank which I hadn't seen in roughly 15 years. I scream and just up, trying to get through the hole in the wall that was created by the huge tree. I make it to the backyard and the entire thing is over. Everyone's homes are pristine and conveniently quiet, and my house is completely destroyed from what has apparently just been my own personal disaster course. I fight through the wreckage of the kitchen as I enter the back kitchen door to the house. The living room floor has been removed and replaced with a 30 foot sinkhole that sucked the couches, flat screen, and PS3 to the depths of hell where no one can enjoy their beauty or applicability. I continue towards the back of the house to my bedroom where somehow, through all of this destruction and chaos, Thriving Ivory can still be heard playing while the soft glow matching the beat of the song can be seen projecting on the walls before I even enter the dark room. I pear inside and see that the song that was originally playing on itunes has now been changed to a music video of the group sitting around staring in the monitor that has presumably risen from the dead after being crushed by an oak tree. The band stops playing, looks me in the eyes and says, "Did you pay for this Download?"


I wake up in a panicked sweat to the sound of "Angels on the moon" being played on repeat on my itunes. The water pouring from my bathroom is no longer there. The oak tree has conveniently stood itself back up outside. The pictures are rehung from the nails which they originally sat upon. So, after gathering myself, I clinched my eyes from the blinding light of the white screen, scrolled through the infinite options itunes 8-point-something has to offer, got my credit card out and paid for the stupid song.