So the Christmas diet failed miserably and I took the defeat pretty rough, so I’ve been lounging around in my pajamas everyday feeling sorry for myself. Not unlike every football fan in Detroit. But there is hope, and it comes in the form of resolution. Since the cigarettes are going out the window (again) on the 1st, I figure I’ll really overwhelm myself and make my window of possible success so small that Gary Coleman would have difficulties squeezing through. I am going to double resolve my New Year with, what the experts are calling, a “Life Change”. The first will be my 3 month mark without alcohol; it will now become the day I quit smoking as well as the day I got into shape. I figure these lofty goals and expectations will be to blame when I fail miserably no more than 36 hours after Wednesday at midnight. If I had simply said, “I am going to eat more vegetables” or “I will no longer spend $500 dollars on Amazon.com when my bank account reflects a balance of $250”, then I would have no excuse when I fail because my initial expectation was such a simple goal that even one of Brangelina’s half-breeds could accomplish it. However, if I shoot for the starts and say I am going to change the world in a day, and then only quit smoking, BOOM, everything else is over looked and even though I ONLY quit smoking…I quit smoking.
In closing, I have just given birth to my New Years Resolution for 2010: I will diligently work toward have such high expectations for myself that when I fail so badly that I am worse off than I was in 2004, I will still feel a sense of achievement and accomplishment. Wow. That shit is genius.
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