Dear Hypocrite,

I love the way you tell me one thing and do another. It's always a welcomed surprise to hold a truth and share its existence with those around me only to later find out that the truth I was relying on was a barrel full of bullshit served up to me by the feces supplying hole on the front of your face. I love it when I plan on one thing going one way, only to have it turn out to be completely different than you said it would be. An "I don't know" is much more helpful to me than a crock of shit siphoned from the nearest parallel universe where your lies are reality. I don't live in this fallacy perpetuated land where what you say is instantaneously deemed law. I love it when I am called out on a lie that you told me and instead of owning up to the lie yourself, you make me work out the kinks because you are too much of a fucking slack to face those who have been effected by your inability to comprehend reality. I am sick of this shit and it ends shortly.

P.S. I'm sorry. Let's still be friends.
See, I can lie too.