Screw the Super Bowl

So at the beginning of the year I said (out loud) that as long as the Super Bowl didn't include either the Colts, Patriots, Steelers, or Giants it would be a good one. Let someone else play for a little bit. Jeez. The Jets are no prize, I'm not insinuating that we even remotely deserve to be at the Super Bowl; we don't. I would just like to see someone exciting go to the Super Bowl, a team that makes it in Cinderella fashion. Maybe a team that hasn't been for a little while. The Lions? The Browns? The Bills? THE NINERS? Whatever, being a Jets fans, I'm bias against New England so the Pats can snort chowder. Also, Eli Manning (whom I'm convinced is actually Nat Faxon's little sister) and the Giants always seem to find a way to throw a wrench in shit and crush dreams for everyone else. Is anyone really even a Giants fan? I mean really?? Ben Roethlisberger looks like a down syndrome version of Jason Segel and I cannot bring myself to take the Steelers seriously because of it. I also feel like he might be a closet rapist. Not like the go-all-the-way, hold a knife to your throat, kind of rapist, but one of those overly insistent, aggressive, frat-boy kinds of rapists. As for the Colts, they made the list purely because I feel like (prior to this year) were the best team in football and whatever underdog team made it to the Super Bowl wouldn't stand a chance against them. But they've had it hard enough this year, so we'll take it easy on the Colts.



Long story short, I'm thinking we need to just say FU to the Super Bowl this year, click over to Animal Planet and get super competative about some Puppy Bowl action while snarfing nachos and doing keg stands.