These people actually exist

I get into work this morning and the first phone call I get is a guy on the other end explaining to me how he is too busy to do some aspect of his job and how he doesn't feel he has time to do something, so somehow, in a magical world where this man's irrational logic is the predominant deciding factor of the universe, he tells me that it is my job. Really pal? You think I want to go through the endless documents and monotonous rigmarole of your job when I don't even work for you...or have anything to do with you? You’ve got to be shitting me. What kind of response was he hoping I would dawn? "Yes massa, I would love to do that fo' you. You need yo' shoes shined sir? Maybe I could do a little dance, if that would be ta yo’ likin’".

No matter how many times I say people don't surprise me, somehow there is that one guy who just does.

Bellapube

So, my buddy Mike just invented a new word that needs to gain popular culture status with your assistance world.

The Bellapube. It's the drag strip that joins a girls belly button bush to her nether-fur. I don't care who you are or what your values may be, if you have this, just know that not even a lesbian coal mine worker will blow you. It's like a mustache for your FUPA ladies.

Yeah. We said it. Bellapube.

P.S. The pubes that reach your thighs like the U.N. reaching for any foreign nation in need...not sexy.

LA Trip

So, I was in LA this weekend for a break from reality. Kylie and Morgan were gratious enough to let me hang out at their place. Morgan had to work the whole time but we got to see a little bit of him. Obviously, Friday we had to go out on the town and get a couple drinks in us. We hit what I think was Hermosa Beach for a drink and stumbled upon a place called the Poop Deck. No kidding. It was this little dive bar that we spent about thirty seconds in until realizing it was essentially a Carson City, NV bar. Upon realizing that we were at risk of contracting something, we left and went to a few more "established" bars. Good times were had.

So, Saturday rolled around and we were able to fight off the massive attack of our hangovers. Kylie and I watched and episode of Criminal Minds, which, in all honesty, never gets old. I think it might be the insane amounts of graphic content mixed with the absolutely absurd rationalized epiphanies that the characters are able to come up with that just gets me. Or it may be the absolutely fantastic body of AJ Cook. Either way, we watched an episode. Noon rolls around and we decide to go to Venice Beach to wander amongst the lost, broken, extraverted, souls that inhabit the area. Needless to say, not all the souls we encountered were lost or broken, but holy shit if they didn't make me uncomfortable. Such as a man in a speedo, pretending to be Conan the Barbarian while supporting the efforts of New Balance.

Along with the woman in some kind of leopard/cheetah print working out at Muscle Beach who happened to bend over right in front of me when I pulled out my camera.

Long story short, there are some crazy ass people in Souther California.

Little man is getting big

So Dave, Liam, Siobhan, and I went to the park this weekend for some kind of Pioneer Days type of thing (fairly forgettable event really). But what wasn't forgettable was little man crawling around on the grass for twenty minutes looking adorable. I couldn't resist.

I wish they could be puppies forever

So I was going through some pictures today and found a pretty classic succession of pictures of Baby Mac.

When he was a baby, he got up on the sofa and couldn't get down, so he decided to keep climbing...or at least give it his best shot.

He tried climbing between the back of the couch and a pillow

He almost made it over.

But then he got a little sleepy.

And he tapped out.

The Dracho

Dave just invented a new food. It has the nutritional benefits of a Snickers wrapped in butter, but it tastes like a unicorn covered in candy corn...if that was a food.

It's 1 part chip, 1 part mozzarella cheese, 1 part Daris' awesome chicken. Cannot be duplicated. Call for sample.

Internet, why youz so funny!!

Needed a laugh, thought I'd share.