Goddamn Video Games. You're Making Me Feel Stupid

Luis has been helping me, or, we have been helping each other I should say, quit smoking. We are three and a half days in (even half days count in this kind of endeavor) and we haven't taken to drinking bleach or jumping off roofs as consolation for this burden.  It’s a win in my book.

 

On a more entertaining note, I’ve hit that point in my life where I’m realizing that I might be getting a little too old for video games.  On “Black Saturday”, or whatever it’s called (the day after Black Friday aka Zealous Consumer Contribution Day), I bought all of these video games that were supposed to just be the tits of entertainment.  Needless to say, I’ve played 3 levels of one of the games and the other 2 are still in their packaging.  Secondary assessment comparison – Last night my roommates and I were sitting around talking and someone fired up a snowboarding game that I own (but have only played once or twice) and we decided it would fun to take turns shredding down the digital mountains.  Luis is pretty much great at all of the video games he tries; his 23 year old brain is still mushy with responsive neurons.  It was fun to watch him blast the game apart and make it look easy enough that anyone could have success.  Next up was Allison who, despite her (what I imagine is) lack of experience with Playstation 3, still took to the physics engine side of things, precariously dropped out of the simulated helicopter onto the powder and made her way down the mountain whilst crushing Luis’ time, though lacking in style points.  Both solid showings.  Then Daris took the reins. 

 

I fell out of the helicopter.  Not even sure how one falls out of the helicopter that (what I thought) was just part of the initial video before the user even assumes control of the character.  Then, using my precision hand eye coordination and venerable trash talking skills, proceeded to fall all the way down the Korean designed, digitally rendered, Kilimanjaro landscape.  Why they let us snowboard some Tanzanian or African mountain (I don’t really know where Mt Kilimanjaro is located as you can clearly tell), I’ll never know.  What I do know is that, after only 6 or 7 minutes of completing only 15% of the run, I was ready to burn my fucking house down out of pure frustration.  I then proceeded to go outside, hang even more Christmas lights, change the headlamps in the Chevy, and shovel soggy, half frozen leaves from my side yard; all at 8:30pm.  Pissed.

 

I guess it’s just time that I admit to myself that I may not be as good as I once was at this video game business, but maybe that’s not a bad thing.  Three or four more tries at that game and my Christmas lights will be Griswold worthy, my truck will essentially be brand new, and there won’t be a goddamn leaf within 90 feet of my property.