I'm having a great day. Seriously. I don't think my day could go any better. As a metaphorical analysis of how exceptional of a day I am having, I will proceed to compare my stupendous day to other screamingly hysterical scenarios in life:
My day is an elephant with two trunks: Productive
My day is a Chinese woman with a perfect driving record: Questionable
My day is a pedophile babysitter for Miley Cyrus: Overpaid
My day is an ant eater in Rodney Dangerfield's kitchen: Full
My day is PeeWee Herman in a mall during a Jonas Brothers concert: Inappropriate
My day is a puppy in a butt sniffing contest: Frantic
My day is a Sharpie pen with a non-dull tip: Original
My day is a brand new port-o-potty filled with super models covered in mayonnaise: Oddly Entertaining
My day is a pair of Birkenstock's purchased from a store in Humboldt County: Authentic
My day is a condom hanging from a pot rack: Notable
My day is a television with tinfoil bunny ears and no remote: Annoying
My day is Joan Rivers' career: Winding down
My day is me catching a friend masturbating to a JC Penny's catalog in a closet full of camping equipment and VHS Disney films: Hysterical
My day is a roller coaster full of lepers: Unorganized
My day is Boy George's anus: Busy
My day is Michael Jackson at an all-boys bible camp: Overwhelmed
My day is a dyslexic, alcoholic toll booth attendant: Sufficient
My day is Jamie Lee Curtis' penis: Functional
My day is the fact that I watch the movie Troy and work out at the same time: Disturbing
My day is Danny Devito's...anything: Short
My day is Amy Winehouse: Over soon (oh! burn!)
You get the idea.
2 comments:
Work is boring. I'm re-reading your blogs. This one is hysterical. Especially the last tid bit about Amy W.
my day is like our family at a sit down dinner: depressing
my day was like me trying to explain to my father my way of life: useless
Love ya D-RAD
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